you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize