just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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