On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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