so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
