Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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