You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
