I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize