The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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