So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
foreskin is a definite game changer
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
