when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
