i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
