u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
