i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
