I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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