I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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