she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Boobs are out for the taking
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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