at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
