I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i think i have herpe
just one?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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