i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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