He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?