Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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  (413): There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/whxc
  Replies (18) Good night (991) Bad night (2376)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was confusing and full of hummus

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  (215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0
  Replies (13) Good night (1612) Bad night (3063)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.

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  (407): I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on. http://tfl.nu/fzv2
  Replies (20) Good night (936) Bad night (3234)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4533) Bad night (1472)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1323) Bad night (4457)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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  (928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85
  Replies (32) Good night (8030) Bad night (1696)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?

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  (973): so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/8siv
  Replies (7) Good night (1478) Bad night (3099)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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  (251): He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember http://tfl.nu/p8oz
  Replies (2) Good night (1552) Bad night (729)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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  (425): It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably. http://tfl.nu/2r5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1406) Bad night (460)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  (214): So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him. http://tfl.nu/fzxv
  Replies (2) Good night (2072) Bad night (397)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.

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  (541): Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from. http://tfl.nu/7wq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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  (940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d
  Replies (10) Good night (879) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.

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  (508): Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada. http://tfl.nu/kq1p
  Replies (5) Good night (264) Bad night (751)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....

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  (740): i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people.... http://tfl.nu/0ph5
  Replies (6) Good night (396) Bad night (660)
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  (949): View more from California

  Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning

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  (949): Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning http://tfl.nu/fj52
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (208)

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