Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS http://tfl.nu/mc97
  Replies (40) Good night (9383) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream. http://tfl.nu/v6je
  Replies (37) Good night (6874) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food. http://tfl.nu/9e1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1190) Bad night (3069)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister. http://tfl.nu/ezh5
  Replies (9) Good night (6595) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer. http://tfl.nu/ikr9
  Replies (23) Good night (1686) Bad night (5722)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God. http://tfl.nu/decj
  Replies (11) Good night (969) Bad night (3374)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he quoted the bible to break up with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): he quoted the bible to break up with me http://tfl.nu/7gni
  Replies (21) Good night (1391) Bad night (5179)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On. http://tfl.nu/kp7b
  Replies (5) Good night (3581) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

  (352): View more from Florida

  Like they're going to fly away?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much (352): Like they're going to fly away? http://tfl.nu/z6w4
  Replies (10) Good night (4793) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up. http://tfl.nu/5qka
  Replies (14) Good night (1964) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1045) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me. http://tfl.nu/c83j
  Replies (5) Good night (1226) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it. http://tfl.nu/7cyq
  Replies (7) Good night (1168) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it? http://tfl.nu/mo75
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (280)

Randomize