I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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