Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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  (917): I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom. http://tfl.nu/7aa5
  Replies (65) Good night (6530) Bad night (656)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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  (801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z
  Replies (9) Good night (3691) Bad night (915)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game

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  (716): she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game http://tfl.nu/hrfj
  Replies (20) Good night (4563) Bad night (1121)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

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  (757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day. http://tfl.nu/wt3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5901) Bad night (1056)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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  (512): He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club. http://tfl.nu/qxuv
  Replies (16) Good night (1289) Bad night (3305)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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  (901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal
  Replies (2) Good night (3209) Bad night (1111)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.

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  (509): You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you. http://tfl.nu/aqxp
  Replies (3) Good night (2485) Bad night (931)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.

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  (513): I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote. (513): I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now. http://tfl.nu/2ikr
  Replies (17) Good night (844) Bad night (1728)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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  (856): So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying. http://tfl.nu/yw9q
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (624)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.

  (936): View more from Texas

  As you should.

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  (210): Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis. (936): As you should. http://tfl.nu/jcwt
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (1115)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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  (304): It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry." http://tfl.nu/xw8s
  Replies (9) Good night (572) Bad night (1047)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.

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  (941): Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment. http://tfl.nu/phl2
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (356)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes

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  (321): I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes http://tfl.nu/1qw5
  Replies (0) Good night (739) Bad night (376)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.

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  (440): I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy. http://tfl.nu/x3g5
  Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (306)
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  (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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  (310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey
  Replies (0) Good night (674) Bad night (335)

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