Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
pop tarts are not kleenex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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