i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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