I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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