I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
