A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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