My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
