she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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