24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
