Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
