Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I accidentally burped into my bong.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
