Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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