Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm both gender and math confused
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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