if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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