omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need moral support for this bender
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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