i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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