so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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