She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
