i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
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god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.