I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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