Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father