i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
