i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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