He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
