Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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