she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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