He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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