Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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