ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
