im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
