She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
