At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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