So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
