She is in my trunk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
