I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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