This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize