ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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