Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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