i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
