what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize