I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dick very happy bro
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
