sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
