There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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