his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
