were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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