My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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