Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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