Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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