Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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