Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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