Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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